im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize