umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
