There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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