idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize