HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
