At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
