So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
