Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
