She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
