umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
