how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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