this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I am naked and annoyed.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
