I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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