Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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