Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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