This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
