The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
