I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
