He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Also, beer. Big fan.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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