I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So many bounce houses so little time
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
