Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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