I looked at my own cervix.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
