You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
