just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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