I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
