Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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