just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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