one might say we're banned from that church
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize