I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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