I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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