I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
