is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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