I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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