Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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