What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
