My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
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Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize