you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
