I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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