Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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