Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
