My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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