shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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