I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
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Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.