Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it