I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
