You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
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Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
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you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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