Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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