We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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