these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
