Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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