Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
