God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
