i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I just forgot I was standing up.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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