this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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