PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
