worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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